It's perfectly natural...

I do get slightly narked at young women who get all righteously outraged at older men for finding them attractive.

You know the sort of thing:

20 year old girl: “Eww! Yuk! This old guy started hitting on me in a bar. Jeez! He must have been, like, you know, over forty or something! He’s old enough to be my dad! What a pervert! People like him should be locked up! Freak!”

Look, it’s perfectly natural for you not to fancy old people.

BUT, it’s also perfectly natural for old people not to fancy old people either.

You don’t have some switch in your head that clicks on automatically when you are thirty five and suddenly changes the way your libido has worked for the previous two decades.

You do not suddenly go: “Wrinkles? Phwoar! Saggy boobs? Wow! Cellulite? Give me more of that stodgy, dimpled goodness, baby!”

It just doesn’t happen. (Ok, there may be a small proportion of people who get off on “old” as a concept, but they are very much in the minority.)

This is why page three girls, and indeed most porn stars, are not in their thirties, forties and fifties – even though most of the people who look at them are. So, why aren’t they? Because young, toned and pert that is what (nearly) everyone fancies – no matter how old they are.

Yes, as you get older, you start to appreciate that older people can also be attractive and stimulating in ways that you cannot appreciate when you are younger. You also start to realise that many young people are incredibly shallow, vacuous, inexperienced, naive and downright boring to talk to.

You also start to realise that if older is all you are going to be able to get, then you might need to lower your standards a bit.

But you don’t stop fancying younger people.

“Ooo—er. Look at her. 34-26-34? Perfect complexion? Toned body? How disgusting! Who could possibly want to shag that? Why doesn’t she let herself go, eat a bunch of cream cakes and grow some facial hair? Then she’d look like a real woman…”

I don’t think so.

So, whilst it may indeed be a bit odd if young girls want to sleep with some old codger, there is nothing unusual about old codgers wanting to sleep with young girls. Fifty year old multi-millionaires do not hire fifty year old bunny-girls and this is not because there is some law of the world that means that only perverts can get rich.

So, there is nothing perverted, freaky or gross whatsoever about old guys fancying young chicks. That is perfectly normal. Everyone does it. There is only something a bit sad about the ones that still think that young chicks would actually want to be pulled by them.

And, I can guarantee you this, girlies. You may think that beer bellies, hairy ears and baldness are not attractive now – and you will still feel the same way in 20 years’ time. And you’ll look back and say “M.A.D. knew what he was talking about”.

Count on it…